got it
/usr/local/directadmin/data/admin/ip_blacklist
now need to see why my whitelisted ip was blovked, only thing I had been doing was messing with the cb plugin.
just double checked and my ip IS in ip_whitelist there next to ip_blacklist file AND is also entered into csf as whitelist.
this is odd, I did have 2 ssh windows open while runnign builds in cb plugin and 3 ftp sessiosn open, maybe I hit a magic number at WRONG time LOL
edit: forgot to thank you guys for the help, sorry for the oversight.
my concern right now (I am running fine) is why an ip in the ip_whitelist was added to the ip_blacklist in /usr/local/directadmin/data/admin/ while I was logged in doing stuff. this locked me out fully.
my ip is also whitelisted in csf as well, but csf wasn't involved here.
just very odd, and I did verigy correct ip was in ip_whitelist