We (and just about everyone else) have a similar problem with AOL.
What happens is that the user forwards his domain email to his account on AOL. Then when he see's it's spam, he clicks on This is Spam (or whatever it says; I don't use AOL so I don't know the exact words). AOL notices the last IP# was ours, so by default they blocklist us.
However you can sign up at postmaster.aol.com to get the spam forwarded to you each time instead.
That's what we do. We're inundated with sometimes over a hundred of emails a day.
But the good news is we don't have to do anything with them most of the time because that's all AOL does is forward them to us.
AOL doesn't tell you their user's email information but sometimes you can find it imbedded in the spams you get.
And they're all sent from the same return address, so you can forward them to one mailbox (we do it one mailbox for each server, simply using the Kmail filters). And if there's less than hundreds for each machine you know it's not really spam moving through your server, but simply emails your customer marked as spam in their AOL account.
We delete them daily.
If we get thousands, of course we know there's a problem and we look for it.
It's a great early warning system too, to tell if anyone's using your server to send spam, because everyone targets AOL addresses.
Jeff