Are you really, really sure you need to stop the exim daemon, which will take care of that for you?
My larger server's exim daemon has, while it idles, 8MB of virtually used memory, 1MB of real used memory from which 0.8MB are shared libraries. It doesn't hurt anybody, it's one of the smallest pieces of software running on a DA system.
I agree with your that with a 256MB VPS server you can't run a normal system, but shutting exim down won't do much.
On my systems, the daemons that are using much, much more memory are, in order: mysqld (that you can tune to use less memory), snort (that you probably haven't got, or shouldn't run), named (because it's a caching forwarding nameserver, and you shouldn't do it), spamd (I suggest you don't run SpamAssassin), PHP-CGI (because I use APC caching with FastCGI, use mod_php without any accelerator), Apache (use a smaller number of cached forks or threads), lfd (don't use any securing system, like CSF+LFD or APF), smokeping, munin, greylistd (you probably don't have these last three, or shouldn't run them) and many more. Exim is almost at the bottom of that list.
If you need professional help with that, contact me.